Spread thin, Anal AF, and stuck (my secret to success)

I have to get a little vulnerable here first..

I hope one day I get my flowers for everything I do outside of business, because that's the only time people online see me- at work.

I busted ass all November to attain three day weekends, but I will wake up early forever because I genuinely love to work. Saturday was Wylie's birthday party, but three days of prep, two weeks of planning, and turning out a gorgeous Saturday late lunch for the adults as well isn't something I was willing to do less than. The kid guests get gift bags and a Montessori kitchen where they can decorate their own cupcakes, and the cupcakes AND frosting are gluten, soy, dairy, oat, and nut free because my kid friends have allergies and the thought of a kid missing dessert at party after party was breaking my heart. For the parents, a "can-work-at-room-temperature" lunch of roast chicken marinated in sweet soy sauce and rice vinegar, the PERFECT roast potatoes , a method I have deployed for almost 15 years, blanched green beans that snap well with cracked black pepper and olive oil, a bright yet rich endive salad with Roquefort, walnuts, and a lemon vinaigrette that I stole from a job, and espresso with flourless chocolate cake, or more accurately, the chocolate nemesis from River Cafe. I added orange zest and some cacao nibs for a bit more earth.

That day I stayed up late and woke up early because I was a: so excited for the opportunity to WERK and b: I remembered that the cadence of my Ritual newsletters would be off if I waited till Monday to release them. Even though I had to wake up at 5:30, and my oven stopped working right as I needed the chickens to go in, I still managed to wash my hair, mop, crank out a newsletter, and post my launch requirements on social. 

This type of overachieving doesn't BOTHER me. There's nothing I love more than going to bed after a long hard day of work. I also will take my do-nothing days pretty fucking seriously, I can lounge, and I mostly did all day Sunday and Monday... I just needed to rearrange my daughter's room as well so she can see into her dollhouse easier. 

I love to work but I hope one day I get my flowers because, as I was adding a major piece to my daily schedule yesterday (teach both my kids to read in 100 days, show up consistently every day to make it happen, not drop any spinning plates), I lamented to my husband: "I just wish that every time I wanted things improved it didn't ALL have to be on me. It didn't ALL have to be some new thing that I have to do."

Hey, if you're new here, this is a preview email from my super secret publishing company. Basically, I teach people how to create generational wealth off their books without begging for a shitty publishing deal that would rape them and their descendants out of a paycheck for the rest of their lives. I provide weekly letters like this, plus a resource library and Q&A for $20 a month. You can get  a month of letters free at mamionami.com/authors

Before you feel bad for me, or wonder why my husband doesn't help more, remember that I set these standards, and I've WASTED more money on coaching than you have to try and figure out if I can just lower these a taste.  I can't.

I don't LIKE the way other people clean my house. I don't like the way other people cut my hair.
I don't like the way other people cook. I don't like the way other people watch my kids and don't ENGAGE with the questions aka their solicited education.
You can't hire someone to rearrange your kids room, Montessori style, and throw away all the old crap. I can tell my husband to move the furniture, but he doesn't wake up like I do and wonder how he can radically improve every area of life.

I get irritated eating in restaurants (especially when we were in Paris) because it irritates me when people don't go really hard with food when it's their occupation. In Paris I felt like giving many shits about the food was French culture. I cried when my omelet was burned. Wasn't there 100 folds in the classic french toque (tall chefs hat, not the short commis cap) for the 100 ways to prepare an egg? Wasn't a perfect egg INVENTED by the French? How could there be bad eggs?? There goes my hero. I ate mainly cheese after that.

I don't send my kids to school because I don't like the way burned out underpaid government workers teach my kids. I don't hire private tutors because how could they possibly care as much about learning being FUN as I do. How do you hire someone to arrive at your house at the right moment, when it's in flow? I tried to delegate the nightly reading to my husband, but he's not a reader so after a few weeks the kids still felt reading was boring. I took over, with Harry Potter, and now the kids are obsessed. Now they see the point with reading lessons enough that I can start to teach them how to read because now they have a reason to. 

The customer service at most of my tech platforms don't understand who they work for as well as I do, if there's a problem, I solve it. If my app needs a rebuild, I do it. 

If I want the house mopped, I do it.
Laundry room rearranged?, I do it.
Kids education upgrade? me.
Monthly decluttering of all closets, cupboards, and chests? Me.
Fridge cleaned, wiped out, and all suss food removed? Me. 
Kitchen redesign? Me.
Buying kids new clothes 4x a year? Me.
Brushing kids hair, teeth, trimming nails, making sure the clothes match? Me.
90% of meals and running of kitchen? Me. (thank you Whole Foods delivery)
Garden? Me. 
 

I don't just love my family, I genuinely like them, and I like being with them. I LIKE my kids. I think they're the most fun people on the planet. They aren't hard work. They're MY kids, what could possibly be easier than being with my own children?  I LIKE my husband, he's the man I chose, and his little dad jokes are chef's kiss. 



I hope that my super extreme "do literally everything" lifestyle might inspire someone, somewhere, that you can run a business, keep an immaculate home, eat excellent food, and be a fulltime parent that's not complaining about the fact that she grew up. 

I work from sun up to sun down, HARD (unless I'm having a conscious lounge and leftovers day, which I do swear by), and 95% is actively with my kids and home, while the business works in my mind. Cooking. Cleaning. Kids. Conversations. Maintenance. Unseen labor. 

I just so happen to run a business on the side. An 800k in 2024 business on the side.

Every major system in every area of life, and their improvement is developed, tested, and  implemented by me and me alone. If I want the floors mopped three times a week, it might take me a year to figure out how that system becomes unforgettable, but once it's there someone else can do it. Where my husband comes in is maintenance once the system is established. He's also really good at dishes, and he takes the kids to all medical and dental (now that their teeth are pulled, genetic hypoplasia)  because that shit makes me anxious.

I was talking to another DIY mom who's been married longer than me, and she reminded me that the ability to multitask to the degree that we do is inherently feminine, and that having the expectation of my husband to do a million things at once is setting myself up for failure and not valuing the clear, A-to-B path he follows. For example: don't start cooking dinner until the kitchen is clean. If it means dinner is ready at bedtime, that's okay.

I just hope that all this "if you want something right do it yourself" is for a reason because, especially with a third baby on the way, it seems like some anal retentive, unable to delegate, egomaniacal issue. I have sought help. I read Who not How. I hired two coaches to drill me with the "you have to delegate". I didn't listen. Their marriages are falling apart, and they see their kids for like 2 hours a day. Mine isn't, and I KNOW my kids. I speak their language, and it's not skibidi.

The only thing that keeps me moving is remembering that Steve Jobs (also a 6/3 generator) was this fucking anal and controlling about everything. I super recommend his Walter Isaacson bio, and the Elon Musk one as well. He was absolutely pig headed about refusing to use third party processing chips from Samsung and Intel, even though every other company used them. For decades, Apple had 5% of the computer market share, and was seen as "weird". Steve Jobs would literally cry and throw fits when investors and board members tried to pressure him to "just buy the ready-made chips" that Microsoft, Dell, IBM, and Compaq all used. Remember those brands? 

Steve Jobs just couldn't , he despised them. Intel and Samsung's inability to make these chips constantly better wasn't just a technical issue for him, it was a deep character flaw. "How could you NOT?" just broke his head, and when it comes to homemaking, it breaks my fucking head too. Steve Jobs lived in a 80% empty house and took two years to buy a washer and dryer because that's how long it took him to to find something up to spec, and he wouldn't waste money on a placeholder. I get it.  

The result of not being able to buy ready made chips meant that Steve Jobs had to BUILD AND STREAMLINE ENTIRE FACTORIES TO MAKE THINGS OTHER PEOPLE ALREADY MADE, because they didn't make it as good as Apple needed it to be (btw, Elon Musk is the same deal with Tesla and Space X) This was exorbitantly expensive, inconvenient, and ultimately resulted in Steve getting fired from Apple. When he got fired, he cried for a while, and then went and built Pixar, which birthed Toy Story and disrupted the animation industry as a result. That was all Steve. Also I want to add that Steve Jobs was this meticulous about his diet (mostly raw vegan, often monomeal), about his outfits (Issey Miyake black turtlenecks every single day)

For 25 years, no one understood why Steve had to be so fucking controlling and crazy. Even when he got hired back once Apple started to radically shit the bed without him, every "sane" person wished he'd just get a coach and get normal. Oddly, his employees fucking worshipped him. He publicly shat on people who didn't get it and fired them, and never lauded or praised the people that DID get it, because there was always further to go, in his opinion. His philosophy was that A players only want to work with A players, and if you allow even one B player on the team you'll lose all your A Players.

This behavior made no sense, until it all made sense, 25 years in.

With the rise of Napster and Limewire, portable music players struggled to legally secure music licensing. The iPod wasn't the first in show, or the best in show. There was the Zune, and the Sansa but guess what - they ran on hackable, run of the mill processors that couldn't be modified for the increased protection needed to secure licensing deals with the top labels. Steve Jobs was obsessed with Bob Dylan, and loved the Beatles, so for him if he couldn't secure these names on his players, he wasn't doing his job. Apple was the ONLY computer company that could guarantee music licensing safety through iTunes thanks to their end-to-end control of every single aspect of the build and maintenance of Apple computers. As such, they were the ONLY computer company to secure the music deals everyone wanted. The iPod catapulted Apple into a new market that no one realized would eventually redefine and even replace the personal computer industry. The smartphone industry. Where fashion, function, and play all intersect.

It took 25 years for Steve to get his flowers, but what flowers they are!  Apple dominates the smartphone market at 52%, while the PC market is still 73% to Microsoft. Apple users are fervent about good design, while the Microsoft market is all about being able to tweak things that aren't perfect yet. Apple wasn't hackable because they made all their own pieces, like Volvo or Volkswagen. Because they weren't hackable, they made it perfect.

I'm not comparing myself to Steve Jobs, and I'm not trying to build Apple. I'm trying to build a family, a REAL family that has the resource of TIME and stability. The rock solid foundation of family is my strategy for keeping my kids off drugs, making sure my daughter doesn't date a human trafficker she meets on Snapchat because it's "the first person that really understands her". It's my legacy. And I want to inspire other people to put family first, and really mean it. To cut the fucking fluff, work hard, and inspire your kids to do the same. Like Kris Jenner. Steve Jobs built Apple, but he could hardly see his kids. His wife, Laurene Powell, provided the home. I provide both.

My husband is a major help, and I can't live without him, but he's not an ambitious guy, and that works for our marriage. It's not like I can say "I'll just do the business you handle the kids. I know I can focus only on work because you are the primary parent." I'm their goddamn mother. That means something to me. He's very appreciative and in the flow, but has never seen the dire need to constantly improve what's there. Why make a cake if you have dinner? Why rearrange the room if you can sleep in it as it is? Why take the kids to do a MAJOR activity if they're not complaining at home? Why wash the sheets? Why mop the floors? Just clean up the kitchen when you're done with it, and make sure our 200 year old home isn't leaking anywhere. Maintenance. Not improvement. Worker mindset, not architect. Instrument, not orchestra. It will probably take him 25 years to get his "go with the flow" flowers as well, and he deserves them. 

There's a Japanese term, kaizen (baby #3 middle name, pronounced KYzen, big KAI soft zen) which is the philosophy of perpetual improvement in all areas of life. Better food. More money. Cleaner homes. Smarter kids. More efficient systems. Satisfaction lasts for one small moment, then we improve and upgrade again and again and again. Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better, and your better is best. 

I was scared to name a baby this because I didn't want to put a heavy mantle on them, but this is what I stand for. This is what I BELIEVE in. This is what is has to be for me. This is what I fuck with. This is what I want to impart to my children. This is my whole life. Maybe one day I'll get my flowers, for now, I just seem crazy.

The people crazy enough to think they can change the world are usually the ones who do. I don't want to change the world with products. I want to change the world with families. Strong families. If I can do it, maybe anyone can.

With that being said, let's go into how this massive workload that I DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT gives me my publishing strategy. 

My links to the sales pages weren't linking last week. Apologies for one of them

My links weren't linking last week, my bad. I forgot the url slug on one, the bonus page, and the second one (sales page) isn't done yet. So why isn't it done? Didn't I give my word? 

I sure tried to do it, but I couldn't make the sales page with the massive limitations I found myself confronted with. I could handle the bonus page, because people had ordered books and it needed to be there, but the sales page is connected to the sales funnel and I had no strategy for that.. yet.

1.) Must start 1/1/2025 as it is a 365 day book.
2.) do not have the FOH real estate on social media or newsletter to talk about Ritual/Safehouse AND book. Too confusing.
3.) I actively teach advanced students, this is a beginners book. I DO NOT SPEAK beginner anymore. I cannot conjure this language. Not for a newsletter, not for a post. My mind does not exist in that realm any more, has not.
4.) Still must sell book.

How could I possibly launch a book by 1/1 when I was busy until 12/31 and beginning Ritual, LIVE on 1/1? 
How could I possibly launch a book by 1/1 when I don't have ANY billboard space?
How could I possibly launch a beginners book by 1/1 when I couldn't speak that language if I tried?
How could I show authors that books are Chanel if I couldn't re-sell my own old book because I was over it?

These are NOT questions I could ask anyone else. These are answers that have to be revealed to me. I've been a business mom for seven years, so now I know the drill. I leave my laptop, frustrated that I couldn't get this project done right now. It bothers me. I'm irritated. WHY couldn't I get it done.

I have a vent, either to my husband, Feelings Room, or Have a Bitch in Author Ship. I have to accept the "I'm stuck" factors which I just outlined up there. If I do not accept the limitations, I can't find the style. I can't build the strategy.

Then I cook. Then I mop. Then I clean out cabinets and throw shit away. I plan parties. I order clothes. I rearrange rooms and sew baby blankets. I make demi glace. I sit in the sauna while my son asks me if I'm done every 5 minutes. I make bath bombs with my kids. Then I fold the exact same load of laundry every single day, with no less than 30 terry cloth (absorbent) hand towels that our family uses for potholders, hand towels, wiping, mopping, and blowing my nose all day long. All this time let my mind be loose, knocking around the occasional question "How do I launch this book on 1/1 if it has to be on 1/1 and I cannot fucking talk about it?"

The answers come.

How can I possibly launch a book by 1/1 when I am busy until 12/31 and beginning Ritual, LIVE on 1/1? 
you can build a 14 day sales funnel that begins on 1/1 and automate it to go out. That would buy you two weeks off of newsletter for the hardest days of Ritual.

How could I possibly launch a book by 1/1 when I don't have ANY billboard space?
you can use it as a downsell for everyone that can't spend an advanced year with you for $2k. You could automatically enroll your newsletter list on 1/1.

How could I possibly launch a beginners book by 1/1 when I couldn't speak that language if I tried?

You could use records from when you spoke that language. You could make the whole book launch the first 14 lessons of the book. You could just have people START the book with you and give them 14 days to buy the book so they could complete it. It could be a free holiday present to anyone. 

How could I show authors that books are Chanel if I couldn't re-sell my old book because I was over it?

I could show them the non-negotiable importance of a unique sales funnel for any and all products, no matter how low ticket they are. Books are Chanel. Funnels are also Chanel. This is the ultimate passive product, in the ultimate passive pipeline, and non business people have no idea how this shit works. I do. I stand for this. This makes my life possible. This buys us homes in Costa Rica. Big ones. Nice ones.

How quickly can I do this?

I could bust this out before the 15th no problem. I just have to make the automation, and I can get Saraswati to draft the first automation if I keep waking up early. If I wake up early, I only need two hours to work while overdelivering in all areas and it doesn't keep me from the kids. I just have to go to sleep at 9 and read to the kids beforehand.



That's how I do it. That's how things get done. Spreading myself thin, too thin to fuss. Having absurd standards and no delegating, and never complaining out of bounds (never complaining unless I'm actively venting to find my limitations). 

I may not have my flowers yet, but oh, what flowers they will be. Until then, hands in the dirt.

Man me Ram, Hath me Kam.
In the mind God, in the hand work.

This was a preview email from my super secret publishing company.  I teach people how to create generational wealth off their books without begging for a shitty publishing deal that would rape them and their descendants out of a paycheck for the rest of their lives. I provide weekly letters like this, plus a resource library and Q&A for $20 a month. You can get  a month of letters free at mamionami.com/authors